B Obituary: West Leaves Town
It is with great sadness that we at the Bnews report the loss of longtime Farnese North Captain G. Bradley West to the Western Suburbs. West, whose lineage is rumored to have deep Whitesox roots, is one of the founding fathers of the Farnese. His deep resume includes leadership of a Farnese campaign to take control of Lincoln Park that resulted in the Farnese celebrating at the foot of Abe Lincoln's imposing statue near the Historical Society. Brad also engineered the famous "beer hoist" maneuver that is used by high school students throughout the world to smuggle contraband booze past unsuspecting adults. Currently West is training to represent the Fanrsese in this year's Chicago Marathon. It is rumored that West will use this new conditioning in a door to door campaign to start a Farnese West-Side brigade. In his absence, Kev "Bachelor Party" Murphy will assume leadership of the Farnese North, stretching its influence all the way to Irving Park. Kev's Sox credentials are unrivaled and he's known by many as the lead actor in one of the first Farnese films.
We at the B wish the West family all the best in the wilderness.