Your Friendly Neighborhood Update

Hawk Should Take A Walk


“Just sit back, relax, and strap it down” as the Bnews makes the unpopular case for the dismissal of Hawk Harrelson at this season’s end. The “good guys,” as you know, are struggling through another exasperating season that is likely “ovah” unless they “cinch it up and hunker down” in their upcoming series with the Tigers. This unlikely “stretch” would probably save Kenny’s neck, line Ozzie’s bank account with “crooked numbers” and allow our loyalist owner to extend the reign of Hawk and “Stone Pony” in the booth.

Unfortunately, the situation with Hawk has become unbearable. Sox fans have had to “suck it up” and deal with another season of vague catchphrases and outdated anecdotes by the Hawk. Like “bad guys” in a jail cell, Sox fans have been forced to endure Hawk’s emotional up’s and down’s while he divulges very little baseball information in return. Hawk’s recent lackluster run in the “catbird seat” includes constant updates about a Tigers team playing 3 states away and whom the Sox still trail by 5 games.

We can hear the sighs already. “Mercy” who will replace Hawk? There are no “ducks on the pond.” The “double barreled” activity of Big Frank and Blackjack is just as bad as Hawk! We agree that none of these guys should be “on the bump tomorrow” and that hiring a local would be “the right size but wrong shape.” Instead we suggest that “our guys” “get on back there” and hire a top flight baseball announcer to pair with “Stone Pony."

Sadly, it’s time for Chairman Reinsdorf to “pull the string” on the Hawk and force him to “grab some bench.” “Thank you very much” Hawk for your service.

3 comments:

A said...

Not driving in everyday from Indiana sure will save Hawk some cash on "GAS"

LilsSub said...

don't stop now boys, as far as i'm concerned we should drop an upperdecker in Market because 2012 is going to be very very long

Anonymous said...

the city beautiful.